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The Lysol Lectures

It’s not my job to spout off about personal political views—that’s not what they pay me for. But like any child of the environmental...

COVID Thoughts

Things feel weird now, don't they? Our schedules have been disrupted, and the comfort that comes from routine—from knowing what comes...

Airbrushed

Back in the 80s I knew a kid who was pure genius with the air brush. For a fee, Jeffrey would paint any band logo you chose onto the back...

The Blue People

This soggy weather put my husband and me in mind to visit Niagara Falls. What the heck, we figured, we were pretty wet already anyway. We...

Shopping Cart Activism

It takes a certain kind of angry enthusiasm to be an activist—something I do not possess. I’ve been deeply disappointed by plenty of...

Moving Air

I learned to drive in a 1976 Oldsmobile Cutlass Supreme. That car had a wider turning radius than the USS Saratoga, and only slightly...

I Give Up

I lost my credit card today. This in itself isn’t unusual. At any given moment, odds are I’m in search of my glasses, car keys, wallet,...

The Grass Patch

My office window looks out on a small patch of grass next to the neighbor's pond. Last week I watched a pair of robins fight over that...

Ode to a Spleen

My sister is having a Second Act. In a brave about-face, she has left the field of elementary education after 25 years, going back to...

We Are!

I don't much follow college sports, though I did catch snippets of this year's Rose Bowl game on TV. My sympathies to all those dear,...

Capra's Corvid

My sister is the Queen of Christmas – the antithesis of a holiday humbug like me. She is keeper of family traditions and has inherited...

October Sun

Moisturize! That's what we gals in the over-40 crowd hear all the time. Our demographic is the target of skin care ads and infomercials...

Fire-staring

Every now and then, I feel like I'm tapping into my primitive human past. Like when I spot a cockroach scooting across the floor and feel...

Double Pepperoni, Hold the Lemmings

Text message from my friend Miranda: Would a snow goose perch on top of a telephone pole? Me: Gee, I don’t know. I’ll find out. I pose...

Malheur Bullies

I know $1.4 billion could get me a lot more, but when I win the Powerball, the first thing I'll do is buy up the twelve acre wooded lot...

Feathers Over Fifth Avenue

If forced to choose between spending New Year’s Eve in Time’s Square and having my hair set on fire, I’d have to think about it for a...

Waiting on a Seed

I fell in love with a phrase I heard the other day. Here it is: delicious anticipation. Doesn’t that one just conjure up images of being...

Tale of the Happenin' Tree

I am a creature of habit. I get a little twitchy in the morning if I can’t find my coffee mug with the moose on it, I never rearrange the...

Dancing on the Inside

Two beers a night. That’s what I have. Sometimes fewer, but never more than two beers a night. A drink now and then isn’t a bad thing, so...

Bunny Whispering

Baby season. It starts slowly, with a few sporadic calls about orphaned wildlife, then reaches fever pitch around June. The phone may...

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